It's a Beautiful Life
by dragonmactir
Summary: After six long years, a few surprising realizations stand to change the life of one major character.  Songfic, kind of a drabble.


**Disclaimer: **Do not own any rights to Psych and its characters, or to the song "It's a Beautiful Life" by Don McLean. No money was expected or received for this work.

**Rating: **K

**Spoilers: **None

**A/N: **Just listening to some oldies, some goodies, some newbies, and some newish stuff from some oldish artists, and stumbled upon what I thought was the perfect Carlton Lassiter songfic song (even though I haven't done a songfic since those long-ago teen years). You probably aren't familiar with it, and I have no idea if you can find it online (I'm on a country dialup internet connection, so video and audio are pretty much verboten for me unless I actually want to sit around doing absolutely nothing for hours and hours just to get a couple of minutes of footage, which I don't). It's just perfect, believe me, even though it's an odd song to say the least, particularly for McLean. It's just him talk-singing over a little bass violin jazz. I'm not sure why the spacing went wonky on me.

**It's a Beautiful Life**

"_I wish my brain would operate, instead of standing still._

_It's all so complicated._

_The thread of my own thoughts is disappearing to what seems to be a logical conclusion._

_I guess I've run out of ideas._

_I've heard a million songs about this and that, and it gave me satisfaction._

_But I see, it's a beautiful life."_

Six years of being continually overshadowed. Six years of being disrespected in the only arena in which he'd ever garnered any respect at all. Why had he put up with it? Why hadn't he ever made good on his threats? How did he inevitably end up bowing to pressure from the Chief, from his partner, from all God-forsaken sides? He wasn't a man who bent, or he never thought of himself that way before. In fact, he had a reputation for inflexibility. There had to be a reasonable explanation.

"_Now comes the second verse, and I have to at least keep the measure straight._

_It's been a long time now, and I'm really insecure about it all._

_I guess I didn't like seeing the things I saw._

_Who needs it?_

_It's been a little painful, and I hope I don't _like _pain, because I'd hate to think about myself like that._

'_Cause I see, it's a beautiful life."_

Maybe it was time to make a change. Maybe a lot of changes. Certainly the status quo wasn't getting him any place he wanted to be. He didn't want to think that he might be a glutton for punishment. A transfer? A new job altogether? Maybe go back to school…but no. Ultimately he couldn't imagine himself in any other job, any other role. He'd worked damn hard to get where he was. So what he had to do, then, was…take back control. Control of his life, predominantly, but also control of his…of his…

Of his space.

"_How did I ever let some of those ideas out of the box?_

_It was just a feeling I had,_

_And I liked the verses - they were so nice and even._

_My eye will never be that good again._

_I lost a certain sense of rhythm but I gained a sense of time._

'_Cause I see, it's a beautiful life."_

It was time to make plans. There would be no more playing the fool, being the buffoon, the comic relief, the in-joke he wasn't in on. Maybe he wasn't as quick as…as certain people, but that didn't mean he couldn't draw and fire with the best of them. He would just have to exercise a little patience, find his openings and strike when he could, to get his own back. He'd done it in the past, but he would have to learn to stay calm in order to make it a regular thing. And how to stay calm? Simple - reclaim his self-respect. Boundaries were going to have to be set, and maintained. It was long past time. Honestly, he didn't think that…certain people…would be wholly adverse to respecting those boundaries. There had been signs of increasing maturity in recent years.

"_I like the old things, but I just can't give up the idea of trying something just a little bit different,_

_Even if it's stupid._

'_Cause I see, it's a beautiful life._

_Yes, I see it's a beautiful life."_

And maybe…maybe he could stand to loosen up. A little. Its not that he had _no_ sense of humor, after all, though truthfully it was a little twisted and dark. But going a little off-menu and learning how to play along could work wonders. Compromise. Look on the bright side of things, for once. Share a laugh instead of only being laughed at. Show the world that not only was he _not _a laughing stock, he was actually capable of being a pretty good guy. One tiny little change that could work wonders if he let it. How strange to think it had taken him six whole years to think of it.

"_And I see, it's a beautiful life."_

- "It's a Beautiful Life" by Don McLean

**FIN**


End file.
